


Wilfred Warrior

by Trickster_Angel



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Cats, Crack, Gen, Humor, Spells & Enchantments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:14:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23110783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trickster_Angel/pseuds/Trickster_Angel
Summary: Geralt gets turned into a cat. Everyone else gets to have some fun. After all, he's just so darn cute!
Relationships: Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia
Comments: 10
Kudos: 72





	Wilfred Warrior

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8i2WPxXxS4&t=1s).

Looking back, Jaskier could admit that maybe he'd had too much to drink. The world had a new tilt and he didn't feel fully in control of his own body. But it was a good feeling. 

He and Yennefer were supposed to be watching Ciri while Geralt took on a job. He said he'd be back soon, in half those words, but he'd been gone all day. Night had fallen on the little village and despite Geralt leaving to get coin for their stay in the inn, Jaskier had to perform for it. Not that he minded in the slightest but then where was Geralt?

That performance went well and Jaskier got to drinking with some of the patrons. Yennefer had gone upstairs but Ciri had stayed to watch. She was quiet but it wasn't a reason for concern. 

After hours of mingling and drinking with the patrons, Jaskier stepped out for some air and was taken aback. There was Roach, walking into town with an animal on her back. She seemed pretty calm about it.

"What the fuck is that?" 

When Roach stepped closer to the inn, Jaskier could see that it was a cat. A weird cat. It's gold eyes bulged from their sockets and it had a massive underbite. It had long white fur. 

"Is that a fucking cat? That's a weird fucking looking cat." 

Of course, the fact that there was a cat riding Roach instead of Geralt begged the question: where was Geralt?

Jaskier's drunk brain decided that getting Yennefer down was the best idea. Her room was right in the front of the inn. 

"Yennefer! Yennefer! There's a weird fucking stray cat outside riding Roach! I don't want it attacking Ciri!"

"What's going on?" The girl in question asked as she stepped outside, "Is that a cat?"

"Go back inside, Ciri. Don't worry about it. Yennefer! There's a weird fucking stray cat outside. It looks-" In a brilliant association, Jaskier continued, "It looks like Geralt, the fucking thing."

Yennefer didn't appear at the window but that wasn't going to stop him. "Hey! Get the fuck out of here. That's Geralt's horse, not yours. Blink motherfucker!"

Roach started walking forward, with the cat. 

"Eeeeeeyyyyyynononononono!!!"

And that was the last memory Jaskier had of that night.

* * *

The cat sat on the windowsill, staring outside. If Ciri didn't know better, she'd say he was sulking.

"Well, that is definitely Geralt," Yennefer said. 

The cat's tail swished in annoyance. 

" _ That's _ Geralt?" Jaskier asked. He was quiet from the hangover.

"Didn't you say he looked like Geralt?" Ciri said.

"He does, if Geralt was a cat and much uglier."

The fur on Geralt stood on end. 

"It's only a temporary spell," Yennefer said, "He should be back to normal in a day or so."

"So what do we do with him?" Ciri asked.

Yennefer shrugged. "Wait until the spell wears off.”

“Should we feed him?” Jaskier asked.

Geralt turned around. He was glaring but his eyes just gave him a creepy look. Also, he was too fluffy and cute to look properly mad. 

"He's a cat. He can hunt a mouse," Yennefer said, "There are probably some in the stable."

Geralt got off his perch and started walking towards the door. 

"Wait," Ciri said. She picked up Geralt and held him like a baby. 

It was clear he was  _ pissed  _ but he didn't fight her. "Couldn't the mice have diseases? What if he gets sick?"

"He's a Witcher," Yennefer said, "They don't get sick."

"But he's a cat."

Geralt meowed. It took a lot of effort not to coo at the cute noise. 

"Aww, how cute," Jaskier said.

Geralt hissed. 

"We could get him something from the inn," Ciri said, "Maybe chicken?" She felt Geralt tense in her arms.

"He could eat that," Jaskier said. 

"Then go get it."

"Alright." Jaskier stood but it was clear he was still in pain. 

"I could go," Ciri said. 

"You might be the only one Geralt doesn't kill if you hold him," Yennefer said.

"She could come with me," Jaskier said, "Or you could go."

"I already proposed we let him hunt his own food and was rejected. I need to protect Ciri while Geralt is a cat. You are expendable."

"Just let me know how you really feel," Jaskier said. 

"I believe I just did."

"Please stop fighting," Ciri said. She held up Geralt. "He's hungry."

He still looked angry.

“I’m going,” Jaskier said and headed out.

Yennefer looked at Geralt thoughtfully.

“Is something wrong?” Ciri asked. She sat down and started to stroke Geralt’s fur. He leaned into her touch. She wasn’t going to say anything but it was pretty cute.

“I was thinking, I have a ribbon that would look lovely around his neck.”

Ciri laughed. She couldn’t help but imagine the Witcher Geralt with a pink ribbon around his neck. It was quite a sight.

“He’d probably scratch you.”

"I'm surprised he hasn't tried already." 

They both looked at the cat. Ciri could feel a rumbling as she pet Geralt. Was he purring?

"He's purring," Ciri said quietly, as if it was a spell that would be broken by acknowledging it. 

Yennefer put a hand on him and started to pet him. "He is purring. How precious." She said "precious" in a devious way. She was never going to let Geralt forget this.

"I'm back," Jaskier said, a bowl in his hands.

Geralt leapt off Ciri's lap and scampered over to Jaskier. He had to be hungry.

"He was purring," Ciri said.

"And I missed it?" Jaskier asked, horrified.

"He might do it again."

"I hope so." He paused a moment. "The kitten of Rivia," he mused as if he was already writing a song in his head.

Geralt meowed. It was a deep meow. 

"Right. Here you are, Geralt." Jaskier put the bowl on the ground and Geralt dove in. He stroked his fur a few times before standing. "Chicken soup."

"He likes it," Ciri said. This whole thing was so cute!

"I'll see if I can find that ribbon while he's distracted," Yennefer said and went back to her room.

"What's she getting?" Jaskier asked.

"A ribbon for," Ciri pointed at Geralt, whose back was turned to her.

"That will be amazing."

"Here it is," Yennefer said as she walked in with a baby blue ribbon. She was  _ smiling.  _

"Oh, that will look wonderful on him," Jaskier said. They all looked at the cat. 

Geralt had finished with his meal and was cleaning a paw. When the conversation stopped, he looked at them. His eyes seemed to stare into their souls.

"Come on," Ciri said and picked him up. She ran a hand along his fur. Geralt settled into her arms, rubbing his head against her.

"He's behaving like an actual cat," Jaskier said, "I wonder if he remembers being human."

"He probably does," Yennefer said, "He acts too much like Geralt to not remember."

"Only way more cuddly. Can I hold him?"

"Sure." Ciri tried to pass him over to Jaskier but Geralt hissed and swiped at him. Ciri dropped him in surprise and Geralt landed perfectly on his feet. He went to the bed and sat down so his legs disappeared underneath him. If cats could glare, he was doing it.

"He hates me," Jaskier said, looking his hand over for any scratches.

"And the last twenty years haven't told you that because-"

"That's not true. He didn't hate me then. Just now, as a cat."

Ciri sat down next to Geralt. She started petting him again. Geralt didn't lower his guard but he also didn't stop her. 

"Why does he let  _ her _ pet him?"

"She's his child surprise."

"Fair enough."

Ciri lavished Geralt in affection for a while. He eventually cuddled up next to her to get closer to the petting. Once again, Ciri heard him purring before he fell asleep. But she didn't stop petting him. He was just so cute and soft like this!

Some time after Geralt fell asleep, Yennefer sat down on his other side. "I'm going to put him in a bow. Will you join me?"

"Okay." 

Jaskier stopped strumming his lute. "This I have to see."

"Or you could help hold him down," Yennefer said, "This will take all three of us."

"He's going to kill us," Jaskier said but walked over. He put his hands over Geralt's front paws.

Ciri kept stroking him.

Geralt let out a purry meow. He was waking up!

"Hurry," Ciri said.

Yennefer had to lift up Geralt's cute fuzzy head a little to get the ribbon around his neck. But that woke him up fully.

Geralt yowled and hissed, struggling against them. Ciri pulled him flush against her body and Jaskier held his little paws. Yennefer managed to tie the ribbon in a messy bow, but with bloody hands. Jaskier's hands were scratched up too but Ciri was left mostly untouched.

Once the ribbon was on, Ciri let go of him. 

Geralt hissed and scampered under the bed.

"Geralt," Jaskier said. He looked under the bed, then quickly hopped on top of it. 

Geralt hissed from underneath the bed. 

"Are you coming out?" Yennefer asked.

Geralt hissed again. 

"The color suits you."

He hissed.

"If you want more food, then you'll have to come out."

There was no reply. Ciri looked under the bed to see Geralt in the corner. Despite the darkness, she could still make out the blue ribbon around his neck. Despite his ridiculous appearance, he still looked pissed.

"Should we take the ribbon off?" Ciri asked as she looked at Jaskier and Yennefer.

"He'll be fine," Yennefer said, examining her scratched up hands.

"We didn't go through all that just to take it off," Jaskier agreed, also looking at his injuries, "How am I supposed to play tonight?"

"You could spare us," Yennefer said.

"That's rude."

Ciri looked back under the bed. He was just so damn cute!

* * *

Ciri was almost asleep when the bed shook. She bolted upright and heard a low groan. Then the bed continued to move. 

It took her a moment to remember what had happened. Geralt had hidden under the bed. Which meant-

She slammed back down to watch Geralt finally get out from under the bed. It crashed back down on the floor. She got a good look at the man, complete with blue ribbon around his neck, before he ripped it off and left it on the floor. 

He didn't even turn around to acknowledge her as he left the room. And Ciri decided she wouldn't mention it. He was probably embarrassed enough.

But Ciri knew, if she ever was queen of Cintra, she would have to commission a portrait of Geralt the kitty.

**Author's Note:**

> [I did say this would be important.](https://a-writing-trickster-angel.tumblr.com/post/611700378951663616/kissingagrumpygiant-kissingagrumpygiant-why)
> 
> My first fic for the Witcher. Hopefully not the last. Thank you for reading. Kudos and comments keep an author fed. :)


End file.
